“You're good to go, Nate, you can exit the test now.” I close my laptop, and 15 seconds pass by of blankingly staring at my wall, which turns into a look of rage and frustration. I flunked the LSAT. I proceeded to get a couple of punches in on my desk and tears began to stream. 5 months of my life I spent studying, right down the toilet. I let everyone in my family know of my terrible news, and let the grand ole pity party begin.
I came back to sit in the same seat again. “No more anger, Nate,” I tell myself. The Philosophy degree I have been striving for has finally paid off in some way. My inner Philospher came out, as it usually does in any of my podcast episodes. I open my laptop and go straight to Canva. I began to create a logo that would change my life in so many different ways soon after this fateful day.
A few weeks later I received a score, of 151. As you can imagine my ego erupted within me, attempting to convince myself I could tell everyone it was a 160, give it that 9-point boost to allow my ego to persevere such embarrassment. Then again one of my many favorite authors crept into my head and said “No Nate, not today”. Fyodor Dostoyevsky said to me,
” Above all, Don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” (The Brothers Karamozov)
While the full quote did not cross the transom in my mind, the essential idea of facing up with reality was one I needed to practice.
The reality was maybe Law School wasn’t for me, which frustrated me beyond belief. I told my whole family, it was my goal, at every Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, New Year, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Birthday, you get the point. This was a problem that needed a solution. The solution was the logo I made a mere minutes after flunking the LSAT. The Lawyers in the Making Podcast. The idea itself always loomed in my head, especially that summer, of how I could begin on my own body of work. A month later the journey would begin and I would finally type into the Google search bar, How to Start a Podcast.
So why? Why I am telling this story. The first question I get from guests and new friends I made from those tuning into the podcast is, Why did you start the podcast, Nate? And I tell them the story above, with all the honesty in the world. While experiencing the events, the thought never came into my head, “Ooo this is gonna be a good story to tell one day” Rather, I learned once and for all that even when you're down and out, there is always time to dust yourself off, and pick yourself back up. My experience so far doing the podcast, has been immense, and I can’t thank everyone enough, especially the guests and the listeners for sharing the wisdom and experiences that they have been through in their life. I believe everyone has a story to tell, it is just about hitting that record button and letting the rest of the world hear it as I am doing right now, typing on my computer, on a surprisingly very nice winter night in Albany (Maybe I stay after all who knows).
This is my story, what’s yours?
Forever Your Student for Life,
Nate.