Finding those connecting points
Interviewing and Networking 101, all from my learned experience!
When you first meet someone new, there is that moment between introduction and conversation that is always the hardest. Especially in a professional setting, if you're not finely tuned to the environment and social cues that come with you, you may be lost at first. I was the same.
As a child, I was the hide-behind-my-parents type, extremely shy, and allowed very few words out of my mouth unless we were talking about something of my interest. As I began school and began making friends, this slowly began to wither away, but that immediate awkwardness always loomed. The weird thing was, I thoroughly enjoyed talking to people, but the problem was, I had no idea how to.
How do I “break the ice” as some put it?
The greatest advice I have come across through books and just my experience in general,
Finding Those Connecting Points. Allow me to explain…
Most of you, if not all, have in some way, shape, or form experienced a tinge of awkwardness when speaking to new people at first. Or if you haven’t, you should probably click off this article, this one does not pertain to you (and you should go into sales).
For those who are still with us, I am in the boat you are in. I truly never understood the whole communication thing up until a couple of years ago. I now have much experience under my belt, and through my 100+ hours of practice, it is almost like muscle memory. But those first couple of podcast episodes and conversations were nothing short of very embarrassing. Not all is lost, though; that means it’s working!
The one trick I constantly come back to, which I see many use across LinkedIn and just in life in general, is finding something you and the other person can relate to.
For professional settings, this is where prior research comes in handy. Company profiles can sometimes be a lot to comb through, especially for lawyers, with all their accolades, certificates, and achievements that they have gained in their career. The real juice lies at the very bottom of those company profiles, which is a treasure trove of personal and fun facts.
It can include their favorite sports teams, hobbies, and their families as well. During an upcoming podcast episode, the guest was speaking about how he knocked his interview out of the park at a massive law firm, just by simply mentioning that he had a baby during law school, as well as mentioning the specific subject area one of the interviewers had worked in. He would later get that job.
The small things truly matter, and it is a big reason that after a handful of episodes, I began to do extensive research about my guests. Who were they outside of the office? Why should I stick to my hobbies? Why would you ever want to support Arsenal Football Club? The last one was a more personal question, but it further shows how doing a little research can help you kill that awkwardness in a second. Another connecting point I always touch on is if someone is in Arizona. I have been to a mere 11 out of the 50 States in the US, but my favorite one of all is Arizona. I can go on for hours about my love for Arizona, and I was only there a week!
Nevertheless, by offering broad questions to anyone you're talking to, you can get those little tidbits of information that can be extremely valuable for killing that awkwardness. Finding those connecting points can be an instant icebreaker for even the toughest of communicators. It is always a massive help to do some personal searching and find those things you are interested in and learn about them. For me, it will forever be my obsession with professional wrestling. When I like something, I learn everything I possibly can about it. And while much of it is 100% useless information for my brain right now, it can come in handy at any moment. Your interests are a tool kit for any given conversation, in any given moment.
Sports are a very easy one if you are into that. Who doesn't love talking about sports? Including that is playing sports as well; people, myself included, love reminiscing about the glory days (or lack thereof).
This skill is especially valuable come Interview time. While my sole job interview was for ShopRite, I am always one who believes the best of interviews are the ones that are not interviews at all. They are full-blown, wide-ranging conversations, which I turn shows your ability to communicate with others and have the initiative to learn more about the job while doing the necessary research to have the foundations for the conversation.
There are so many different topics in this world that can connect you with another, and this isn’t a surefire formula, as some people may just be opposite from you. In cases like that, you lean back into your listening skills and learn something new about the deep interests of others. In either case, the ice is broken, you're off to the races, and you just created a memorable conversation, which is always the most important part of any interaction.
It worked for me, and it may work for you, but you don’t know till you try, and when you find out, if it doesn’t work, you can come back and say I am wrong, which I am more often than not.
Well, folks, that’s all from me, Nate Crespo, your host for today and FOREVER! After this past week’s missed article, I come back revived and fulfilled to do double duty this week. If you have any ideas of what I should write about next, shoot me an email and let me know at lawinthemaking1@gmail.com.
Happy Monday! (For those who celebrate)